Never. Not Once. Not Ever.

After He Said Cancer | My Memoir Theme

Writing helps me make sense of the world and the events that unfold in my life without warning, for which I have no frame of reference. Before the memories slip away, I want to give them shape and substance so I can return to them and treasure what I learned in the moment.

As my memoir took shape, I realized it needed to read like a story with a clear beginning, middle, and end. I couldn't open with the most dramatic and terrifying moments. Instead, I needed to build a "runway" — what storytellers call the First Act. This helps build the emotional climax that comes later by establishing my world, naming my critical flaws, and planting the seeds of what's to come. But the reader can only understand my emotional transformation if they first know who I was before the crisis.

Finding the critical flaws that set me up for the intense, anticipatory grief that followed my husband’s diagnosis of male breast cancer was not only self-therapy, but it provides the arc of my story.

If you are writing a survival memoir that incorporates illness, caregiving, grief, or crisis of any kind, I hope this series helps you find the structure to get you over the finish line.

This piece will be make more sense, if you have read my two recent posts:
1. Writing Like a Movie. https://www.afterhesaidcancer.com/p/writing-like-a-movie?r=1acedj
2. Memoir Structure: the Opening Image. https://www.afterhesaidcancer.com/p/memoir-structure-the-opening-image?r=1acedj

I have placed this third piece in the series behind a paywall, because it dissects the theme of my memoir and feels even more personal than my actual life story.
Spoiler Alert: The theme comes from a scene from the operating room.