I know these nights of grief, and waking to about 10-15 minutes of racing thoughts and then think I might as well get up anyway, even though it’s way too early.
Sometimes, I think that her oncologist thinks they made a mistake. It was because the final phase of her life really was a death spiral with exponential shrinking of the estimate of her time to live.
She was healthy enough to walk assisted to that mountain viewpoint two weeks before and then she was gone?!?!?
There is a fine line between having hope and having the recognition that this very strong person in your life has lost so much function in other areas that these aren’t mere side effects - they are the beginning of the process of shutting down. I didn’t see it because I didn’t want to see it.
When food they once loved tastes like cardboard. That in retrospect was key.
Could the doctors have lengthened her life anyway? It’s possible. She could have had a few more months. But, she could have been too late for a cure, even if later this year was the year it finally happened.
Yesterday evening was her Celebration of Life and I wish she could have been there.
Thank you, Charles for writing. The thinking around a loved one's cancer and decline is so complex and all consuming. This is something that I want to convey. I don't think most people realize how the experience impacts everyone in the family so profoundly and all the decisions there are to be made.
You’re right. It is not as simple as I made it out to be. I can’t edit the offending paragraph I wrote here, but I could delete the entire comment.
For now, I’ll let it stand. But, there in fact are other reasonable explanations for symptoms and people with a loved one battling this disease should not lose hope.
Don’t delete anything please. I was not offended. This is an unbelievably difficult process. My deepest respect for anyone who has gone through it.
Very powerful and well written. Your writing pulled me in left me wanting to read more, no matter how sad the story. Keep up the great writing!
Thank you! As you know, it is a labor of love!
Thank you.
I know these nights of grief, and waking to about 10-15 minutes of racing thoughts and then think I might as well get up anyway, even though it’s way too early.
Sometimes, I think that her oncologist thinks they made a mistake. It was because the final phase of her life really was a death spiral with exponential shrinking of the estimate of her time to live.
She was healthy enough to walk assisted to that mountain viewpoint two weeks before and then she was gone?!?!?
There is a fine line between having hope and having the recognition that this very strong person in your life has lost so much function in other areas that these aren’t mere side effects - they are the beginning of the process of shutting down. I didn’t see it because I didn’t want to see it.
When food they once loved tastes like cardboard. That in retrospect was key.
Could the doctors have lengthened her life anyway? It’s possible. She could have had a few more months. But, she could have been too late for a cure, even if later this year was the year it finally happened.
Yesterday evening was her Celebration of Life and I wish she could have been there.
Thank you, Charles for writing. The thinking around a loved one's cancer and decline is so complex and all consuming. This is something that I want to convey. I don't think most people realize how the experience impacts everyone in the family so profoundly and all the decisions there are to be made.
You’re right. It is not as simple as I made it out to be. I can’t edit the offending paragraph I wrote here, but I could delete the entire comment.
For now, I’ll let it stand. But, there in fact are other reasonable explanations for symptoms and people with a loved one battling this disease should not lose hope.