Oh friend. I am so very sorry this was your experience and I am glad you have found a little community here.
I never wanted to go to support groups because I figured it would be a lot of spouses and I would be one of the only daughter caregivers. In hindsight I wish I had tried harder to find something. Thanks for your honesty and vulnerability.
This is a real concern to me as a former caregiver. I am active as a moderator with AnCan, and I am excited to share that we do have caregiver groups designed for those who have advanced cancer as well as for our Bereaved caregivers/care partners. AnCan is a virtual support group and covers all types of cancer. For anyone who is interested, if you go to AnCan.org you will see the different groups they have available. As always, I appreciate that you share your story with all of us.
A moving essay. As with your other posts, your emotions are so poignantly and efficiently expressed. Thank you for the insights. I believe it is not so much that you are a low priority in the moment, but rather that you are a low priority overall. It seems that the nurse, as well as any other member of the team, was unable to help you via any method of communication.
As with so much of your writing, this is so heartbreaking and brings up so many memories of virtually identical scenarios that I experienced with my wife over our five year cancer journey as well as our cancer experience with our son.
I want to say I'm shocked, but that phrase has absolutely no meaning anymore in this context.
Just sending you loving thoughts and care in the ether and the biggest high five in the world for dealing with this bullshit at the worst time of life to be dealing with bullshit.
Awww, Kristina, this is awful and so painful to read that you had such a blank-space of nothingness. HUGS! I'm SO glad you found us here. Many thanks for the shout-out. I hope that our community network can help many others feel supported. Sitting alongside you.xo
If there's anyone reading from the UK may I suggest contacting Maggies. Their centres are an oasis of empathy and expert support, AND they have strong local knowledge AND they're located next to a hospital https://www.maggies.org/about-us/how-maggies-works/ Maggie Keswick Jencks vision is HEARTSWELL
Kristina, Thank you for your heartfelt writings. They resonate with me as my husband has metastatic breast cancer. Please let me know whether you would like to connect.
“ They were a big part of the glue that holds a medical system together.” Very true!
My observation as a patient, and now as a volunteer counselor, is that there are not enough oncology nurses to go around.
Ratios have increased substantially in recent years, stressing the staff.
I’m not sure how that will get fixed. Will new technologies help?
I don’t think anyone or any technology can replace a fantastic nurse.
Oh friend. I am so very sorry this was your experience and I am glad you have found a little community here.
I never wanted to go to support groups because I figured it would be a lot of spouses and I would be one of the only daughter caregivers. In hindsight I wish I had tried harder to find something. Thanks for your honesty and vulnerability.
There shouldn’t be any judgment about who is the caregiver and what is their severity of grief or burden. It is a hard process all around.
Absolutely agree with you. It was more about my own grief/anger at loosing my dad too that made the thought of a support group harder.
This is a real concern to me as a former caregiver. I am active as a moderator with AnCan, and I am excited to share that we do have caregiver groups designed for those who have advanced cancer as well as for our Bereaved caregivers/care partners. AnCan is a virtual support group and covers all types of cancer. For anyone who is interested, if you go to AnCan.org you will see the different groups they have available. As always, I appreciate that you share your story with all of us.
I agree. Not enough support groups and ways for cancer patients and their family members to find community. I think it is a real problem.
Thanks for sharing this Patricia, I'll add this resource to my website links on Carer Mentor.
A moving essay. As with your other posts, your emotions are so poignantly and efficiently expressed. Thank you for the insights. I believe it is not so much that you are a low priority in the moment, but rather that you are a low priority overall. It seems that the nurse, as well as any other member of the team, was unable to help you via any method of communication.
Thank you for reading, Emmet. So true!! You know how the system works.
Just to say…
As with so much of your writing, this is so heartbreaking and brings up so many memories of virtually identical scenarios that I experienced with my wife over our five year cancer journey as well as our cancer experience with our son.
I want to say I'm shocked, but that phrase has absolutely no meaning anymore in this context.
Just sending you loving thoughts and care in the ether and the biggest high five in the world for dealing with this bullshit at the worst time of life to be dealing with bullshit.
Thank you. It makes me feel more whole to know that someone understands and can relate — and that my writing makes them feel like they are not alone.
Awww, Kristina, this is awful and so painful to read that you had such a blank-space of nothingness. HUGS! I'm SO glad you found us here. Many thanks for the shout-out. I hope that our community network can help many others feel supported. Sitting alongside you.xo
If there's anyone reading from the UK may I suggest contacting Maggies. Their centres are an oasis of empathy and expert support, AND they have strong local knowledge AND they're located next to a hospital https://www.maggies.org/about-us/how-maggies-works/ Maggie Keswick Jencks vision is HEARTSWELL
Thank you for sharing more resources!
Kristina, Thank you for your heartfelt writings. They resonate with me as my husband has metastatic breast cancer. Please let me know whether you would like to connect.
Kristina, what a poignant slice of caregiving life. My heart goes out to you for that moment and the many others you've been through on this journey.
I feel honored to be included among those writers you've found helpful. Thank you so much for including me.
Praying for your strength and hope ♥️