I don't think your expectations were too high. As the wife of a man with many health issues over the years, I agree 100 percent with your instinct to involve the family members. We no longer stay with doctors who don't, and it's served us well. And I can relate to the empty notepad. Sometimes there are so many questions that I can't ask a single one. But most of all, I can relate to being the one that was falling apart when he was the one on the examination table. Thank you for sharing, Kristina.
Thanks Cherie! Knowing that there is another person who was falling apart when HE was on the exam table makes me feel so much better. And it why I love the Substack community so much. Many of us are writing away our trauma and grief and can relate to someone else who remembers (and needs to write about) every 'scar' along the way. The only way that I can get it out of my head is to put it on a page.
The danger comes in assuming the patient's (or their loved one's) emotional or spiritual journey. Had someone asked us in the beginning - "What would be helpful to you, right now?" - that might have helped to get us and the care team in better sync.
Geez..it all sounds so cold and emotion-less, and I can feel your 'deer-in-headlights' state of mind. I hear you Kristina! Thanks for sharing. We had 3 pairs of ears with every consultation Dad had, and even then I froze on notes too.
I appreciate the vulnerability of your piece and the details you've shared. A big warm empathetic hug!
Thank you for bearing your soul and expressing honestly how you felt as a caregiver and a wife. It was always difficult for me to put my feelings into words, but you hit the nail on the head. Thank you!
I don't think your expectations were too high. As the wife of a man with many health issues over the years, I agree 100 percent with your instinct to involve the family members. We no longer stay with doctors who don't, and it's served us well. And I can relate to the empty notepad. Sometimes there are so many questions that I can't ask a single one. But most of all, I can relate to being the one that was falling apart when he was the one on the examination table. Thank you for sharing, Kristina.
Thanks Cherie! Knowing that there is another person who was falling apart when HE was on the exam table makes me feel so much better. And it why I love the Substack community so much. Many of us are writing away our trauma and grief and can relate to someone else who remembers (and needs to write about) every 'scar' along the way. The only way that I can get it out of my head is to put it on a page.
Amen! ❤️❤️
Your perspective adds great depth to helping me understand the caregiver role. Such a rich article! Thank you!
The danger comes in assuming the patient's (or their loved one's) emotional or spiritual journey. Had someone asked us in the beginning - "What would be helpful to you, right now?" - that might have helped to get us and the care team in better sync.
Geez..it all sounds so cold and emotion-less, and I can feel your 'deer-in-headlights' state of mind. I hear you Kristina! Thanks for sharing. We had 3 pairs of ears with every consultation Dad had, and even then I froze on notes too.
I appreciate the vulnerability of your piece and the details you've shared. A big warm empathetic hug!
Thank you for bearing your soul and expressing honestly how you felt as a caregiver and a wife. It was always difficult for me to put my feelings into words, but you hit the nail on the head. Thank you!
Thank you, Alyssa! Sending love to you as well!