I've Been Hiding. Here's Why.

A memoir is finished. Now the real work begins.

I’ve Been in a Writing Cocoon — and I’m Finally Ready to Emerge

Six months ago, I went quiet.

No posts, no updates. Just me, a manuscript, and a deep focus that doesn’t leave much room for anything else. If you’ve been wondering where I went, here’s the honest answer. I’ve been finishing my memoir, and I am ready to tell you about it.

After five years, After He Said Cancer is finally complete.

Well, it’s complete in the sense that several readers say that they enjoyed it, and my developmental editor had only minor comments. (In the next few weeks, I will explain more about this early process of editing and revision.)

Emerging from a writing coccoon!

It feels surreal to call the manuscript “complete”, and find out if anyone other than me thinks it has commercial potential. What started as a way to make sense of my husband Chris’s cancer diagnosis has become a full-length book that I’m now querying to literary agents, with the hope of landing a traditional publishing deal with a major house.

I had no idea what I was walking into when I started this project five years ago.

The querying process is its own world. The initial process is exhilarating when one hits “send”, and then there is a long process of waiting, with an inevitable humbling phase where scores of agents are simply not interested in the manuscript. In my life as a scientist, I am used to the constant rejection by editors for scientific papers, so this part is not new.

My skin is pretty thick, and I am more than ready for the mountain of rejection that is certainly coming my way.

I’ve kept alive a dream that I’ve had for a long time, which was writing stories that might find their way to film, a la Stephen King. But cancer has a way of rearranging your priorities, and it rearranged mine. The medical thriller and detective projects I’d planned to write in retirement were nudged aside, so I could write the story that was literally bursting from within. This story demanded to be written first.

Over the next six weeks, I want to bring you inside the process.

What does it look like to write a memoir with commercial publication in mind? What goes into querying agents? What does a writer have to think about when film adaptation is part of the vision? I’ve lived all of it recently, and I want to share it with you – my fellow memoirists, readers, family, friends, and anyone who’s ever wondered what happens after you get the idea to write the book.

One housekeeping note: with Substack’s recent algorithm changes, follower counts are no longer visible on the platform. If you want to make sure you don’t miss what’s coming, subscribing is free, If this work has meant something to you, a paid subscription is always deeply appreciated. (I am also unpausing paid subscriptions.)

It’s spring. New beginnings feel right.

I’m glad to be back. Thanks for your patience.

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If you would like to read other posts, here are a few:

1. How It Began. This story is the origins of my Substack and tells the story of the first moment when we learned of my husband’s breast cancer diagnosis. https://www.afterhesaidcancer.com/p/how-it-began

2. Extremes. The extremes of poverty give me perspective on my grief.

https://www.afterhesaidcancer.com/p/extremes

3. That Ribbon. https://www.afterhesaidcancer.com/p/that-ribbon

4. The Day He Nearly Died. https://www.afterhesaidcancer.com/p/the-day-he-nearly-died

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