The shock phase of grief is especially terrible. It is like someone had hijacked my brain and I could hardly think, plan or process. My deepest condolences to you and your boys, Charles. Lisa was a lovely person and I have very fond memories of our time together at the Co-Op.
I actually found some pictures of you at the Co-Op. Lisa isn’t in any of the ones I’ve found so far so I don’t know if she was the one just taking pictures, or if someone else took them and sent them to her.
It’s like one of those mysteries where I would have just asked her “who took this picture?” or “who is in this picture?”
My husband had a very short but difficult fight with cancer...I started grieving the moment we got the terminal diagnosis, but couldn't show him I was breaking. I had to be his fight, his hope and caregiver. It was a constant state of adrenaline. I constant juggling of emotions.
My heart ached but also felt love reading this. So so happy he is doing well and that you have a way to express emotions and share this with us.
My sister committed a violent suicide and my husband and I found her and had to be the ones to tell my parents. Different story but feeling of guilt, anger, shame, survivor guilt, responbility for my parents, all so overwhelming. Lots of love to you!
I didn’t have strength and hope right away. It was a 3-year journey. When people told me to be strong (in the beginning), I didn’t know how. Substack and this writing journey played a big role in my new found resilience. Writing my way toward the future, whatever that is.
I related most profoundly with the grief on the discovery - is there anything I could have done to help my spouse be diagnosed sooner? Like you, it sounds that on the day they discovered they had breast cancer, they had metastatic breast cancer. At first, all she wanted was a surgery to just cut out the bulk of the growth, but it did not make sense. I had to learn why it did not make sense (no medical training)
I also loved the end of this post on the shock phase of grief which is where I am now.
I want people reading this to know that they aren’t alone. I felt alone for so much of this journey and finally found a community.
The shock phase of grief is especially terrible. It is like someone had hijacked my brain and I could hardly think, plan or process. My deepest condolences to you and your boys, Charles. Lisa was a lovely person and I have very fond memories of our time together at the Co-Op.
I actually found some pictures of you at the Co-Op. Lisa isn’t in any of the ones I’ve found so far so I don’t know if she was the one just taking pictures, or if someone else took them and sent them to her.
It’s like one of those mysteries where I would have just asked her “who took this picture?” or “who is in this picture?”
But I can’t ask her any more.
I don’t remember either. Lisa was and will always be such a great person.
My husband had a very short but difficult fight with cancer...I started grieving the moment we got the terminal diagnosis, but couldn't show him I was breaking. I had to be his fight, his hope and caregiver. It was a constant state of adrenaline. I constant juggling of emotions.
Your strength for your husband honors him. Where did you find your strength? What gave you hope? How did you make it through?
Kristina❤️
My heart ached but also felt love reading this. So so happy he is doing well and that you have a way to express emotions and share this with us.
My sister committed a violent suicide and my husband and I found her and had to be the ones to tell my parents. Different story but feeling of guilt, anger, shame, survivor guilt, responbility for my parents, all so overwhelming. Lots of love to you!
Marie
Oh, Marie. I am so, so sorry. I hope something that I write might help. So many people are experiencing loss and pain. Love.
I didn’t have strength and hope right away. It was a 3-year journey. When people told me to be strong (in the beginning), I didn’t know how. Substack and this writing journey played a big role in my new found resilience. Writing my way toward the future, whatever that is.
I related most profoundly with the grief on the discovery - is there anything I could have done to help my spouse be diagnosed sooner? Like you, it sounds that on the day they discovered they had breast cancer, they had metastatic breast cancer. At first, all she wanted was a surgery to just cut out the bulk of the growth, but it did not make sense. I had to learn why it did not make sense (no medical training)
I also loved the end of this post on the shock phase of grief which is where I am now.
Thank you.
My mind and body didn’t feel connected anymore.
Exactly my experience… I am only now beginning, cell by cell, to rebuild my new self.
Hold on tight.
I have shifted from an isolated terror to truly a global community. Love wins.
Sending to and your whole framily, love and fortitude. 💚💚💚