It sounds like some people can’t imagine living a happy life with a challenging diagnosis. But there are plenty of examples of people living with chronic disease and managing to be happy just the same.
That’s interesting. Did you think it’s because they haven’t experienced this kind of diagnosis that brings one to face mortality? His parents are in their 90’s, by the way.
I don’t know, but I have been exposed to those who live with chronic illness who manage to find some contentment despite the challenges at https://unfixedmedia.com/
I think Marlyn and I were very similar to what you talked about here. And I wonder if it’s a male/female difference. He wanted absolutely not to see any of his scans. His daughter and I were with him at the radiologist and his daughter said she would like to see the results of their scans, but he said “no“.
Granted, he was diagnosed metastatic so we knew things were going to probably not look good on his scans. He said he knew he would be lit up like a Christmas tree, so he wanted no part of seeing it.
I can’t say for sure how I would be if I were the one facing cancer, but I think I would want to know as much as I could to try to fight it the best that I could.
Thanks for reading, Pat. I think there is often a tension in the family about what to do or not to do that isn’t talked about. That was what I was hoping to show here.
Hi Kristina, I empathise BIG time with both of you. Disconnects are difficult, especially when you're seeking solace, affirmation and support. BIG hug.
I empathise with your friend because here in the UK sometimes it feels like for the last 9 years we've swung from appointment, symptom hiccup, blood test, scans, monitoring test, operation, test etc etc. Here, we cannot reschedule CTs or MRIs, we are blessedly thankful when we get the appointment...but then it's free here. In other countries like the USA its expensive.
As you know we pivoted hard from Dad to Mum's cancer, and we're deeply grateful for targeted therapy that controls Mums cancer. I take my cue from mum and her wishes - our situation is different.
In a roundabout way I'm saying, we each have different bandwidths of managing information and tests. I know that some folks can worry and ruminate, and it can overshadow everything esp. with all the tests/scans plus having to coordinate and schedule all the tests etc.
Sorry no clear explanations, I'm just voicing empathy for you and anyone with any chronic long term illness that requires any monitoring. These days we all live longer and all the caregivers I know witness the angst and their own angst on the rollercoaster. We each manage our emotions differently...and often information leads to more questions and hypotheses and more worry.
One thing we do is try to get clear with our medics about how a test would inform our next action to be clear about potential decisions. Monitoring here is fairly regular with Cancer protocols.
Your husband's case is very different to ours - given data, and cancer type.
It sounds like some people can’t imagine living a happy life with a challenging diagnosis. But there are plenty of examples of people living with chronic disease and managing to be happy just the same.
That’s interesting. Did you think it’s because they haven’t experienced this kind of diagnosis that brings one to face mortality? His parents are in their 90’s, by the way.
I don’t know, but I have been exposed to those who live with chronic illness who manage to find some contentment despite the challenges at https://unfixedmedia.com/
Personally, I cannot imagine not wanting to know. Face the problem head on and deal with it. "fight it tooth and nail” as you said, Kristina.
I know. But there are certainly people who feel differently. It’s interesting.
I think Marlyn and I were very similar to what you talked about here. And I wonder if it’s a male/female difference. He wanted absolutely not to see any of his scans. His daughter and I were with him at the radiologist and his daughter said she would like to see the results of their scans, but he said “no“.
Granted, he was diagnosed metastatic so we knew things were going to probably not look good on his scans. He said he knew he would be lit up like a Christmas tree, so he wanted no part of seeing it.
I can’t say for sure how I would be if I were the one facing cancer, but I think I would want to know as much as I could to try to fight it the best that I could.
Another great read ! Thank you, Kristina!
Thanks for reading, Pat. I think there is often a tension in the family about what to do or not to do that isn’t talked about. That was what I was hoping to show here.
Hi Kristina, I empathise BIG time with both of you. Disconnects are difficult, especially when you're seeking solace, affirmation and support. BIG hug.
I empathise with your friend because here in the UK sometimes it feels like for the last 9 years we've swung from appointment, symptom hiccup, blood test, scans, monitoring test, operation, test etc etc. Here, we cannot reschedule CTs or MRIs, we are blessedly thankful when we get the appointment...but then it's free here. In other countries like the USA its expensive.
As you know we pivoted hard from Dad to Mum's cancer, and we're deeply grateful for targeted therapy that controls Mums cancer. I take my cue from mum and her wishes - our situation is different.
In a roundabout way I'm saying, we each have different bandwidths of managing information and tests. I know that some folks can worry and ruminate, and it can overshadow everything esp. with all the tests/scans plus having to coordinate and schedule all the tests etc.
Sorry no clear explanations, I'm just voicing empathy for you and anyone with any chronic long term illness that requires any monitoring. These days we all live longer and all the caregivers I know witness the angst and their own angst on the rollercoaster. We each manage our emotions differently...and often information leads to more questions and hypotheses and more worry.
One thing we do is try to get clear with our medics about how a test would inform our next action to be clear about potential decisions. Monitoring here is fairly regular with Cancer protocols.
Your husband's case is very different to ours - given data, and cancer type.
Sending hugs...not sure if any of that helps!!
Thank you, Victoria. At least a part of the journey is one’s own reaction to the judgment of others.
Yes! so true.